I could have helped and didn't

I guess this is my version of confession.

This has happened a couple of times this summer and it's getting to me. I should be able to do better.

Walking home from shops a few blocks away I've encountered people asking for money for food. The area I'm walking from has a few little restaurants and a grocery store within a block.

I don't usually carry cash so it's kind of reflexive to apologize that I can't help and walk on.

But a couple of times this summer I've continued on my way and remembered that I did have a couple of 5s and 10s in my wallet, and on remembering I didn't go back.

The truth is, with the way the world has been I've been getting scared. Today that 5 won't impact me but what about tomorrow? What if the trade war impacts my job? What if things keep getting worse?

I know I should do better. Mark 12:41 is the ideal to strive for and I'm embarrassed that I've allowed fear to impact me to the degree it has.