Planned natural birth, achieved 10 cm, discovered baby was breech, emergency c-section

I just wanted to write this down for myself.

I always knew I wanted a natural birth. I don’t feel like justifying it here, but it’s just what I wanted. My pregnancy experience at the natural birth center was awesome. I loved the home like setting and the noninvasiveness of it all. My husband and I spent months listening and watching positive natural birth stories dreaming of what ours was going to be like. We cried during each of these stories, overwhelmed and excited.

The birth center ordered two ultrasounds: one at 8 weeks, one at 20 weeks. After 20 weeks my baby’s position was always palpated. Four different midwives and two birth assistants routinely palpated him to be head down ROA. Every week, every employee, noted him to be head down ROA. His heart beat was detected low in my abdomen. I followed their lead and never requested a position scan.

I went into labor after midnight on 41+3. I labored with my husband until 1PM when my contractions suddenly became 3 minutes apart. We got a hotel in the city of the birth center and met my doula there. Although my contractions were close together, they were short lasting (about 35-45 seconds). I was also experiencing back labor the entire time. I wa handling it quite well, laughing at jokes between contractions and breathing/vocalizing though the pain, remaining loose and not tense. We labored with her help until 645PM when she felt that we should head to the center.

When we arrived I was 8 cm. I don’t remember much after this. Labor became intense. They moved me from tub to bed to toilet and back trying to help me dilate to 10. I became exhausted. I wanted to vomit with every contraction. I stopped being cool and starting saying things like “I can’t do this, I hate this”. They assured me everyone feels that way when baby is close.

But I knew in my heart baby wasn’t close. I never felt him moving, I didn’t feel an urge to push. I didn’t even feel remotely like I had to push. Even once I was painfully at 10 cm for an hour, I felt no sign of his descent. I got the sense the midwives thought I was somehow stalling my own labor by not trying hard enough or something.

Finally they performed an ultrasound. The midwives announced very seriously, “your baby is breech.” I said, “are you fucking kidding me? Fuck my life!” In that moment I was so pissed off at her, I couldn’t believe it took this long to notice. I know for a FACT my baby was in the same position since 34 weeks, meaning we had over a MONTH to diagnose this. All of my strength was lost in that moment. I was crying and yelling and just completely lost my ability to cope.

They called an ambulance and within 20 minutes I was on the operating table. I had probably 15 contractions in that time. I had to hold still though back to back contractions to get the epidural, leaning on a nurse who was stroking my head and saying nice things to me in my ear. The surgeon and the team were bewildered how I got into this position. 10 cm, just now discovering a breech. The operation did not go smoothly. I was completely depleted. They found a Bandls ring, a complication with a 50% infant mortality rate and a sign of IMMINENT uterine rupture, caused by my babies undiagnosed breech position and consequent stalled labor. Baby came out crying and everyone sang happy birthday but I couldn’t even smile. I was so upset and confused and I still didn’t feel like either one of us was going to be ok. I didn’t want to celebrate early.

My uterus wouldn’t contract. I was given dozens of medications and the surgeon was extremely tense, saying my uterus was “boggy, extremely boggy” over and over. They made my husband and my baby leave the room. It took over an hour to contract my uterus before they could close me up. The surgeon met with me many times during my hospital stay and he described my labor experience as neglectful. He said they rarely perform c section on someone unmedicated at 10cm.

I am so upset that the birth center failed to diagnose the breech position. I think it’s laughable the about of times they palpated him BUTT and touched his BUTT during membrane sweeps and thought it was his head.

My baby could have died and I could have lost my uterus if I pursued the birth plan I wanted. I have completely cut ties with the birth center and because I never had an OBGYN, I have no where to go for postpartum care.

I love my baby and we are pretty happy now 12 days PP. I don’t even know why I’m writing this and I’ll probably delete it. I just feel like I was so let down and I feel like birth plans are stupid and useless and that I’m an idiot for thinking i would get some beautiful amazing birth just cause i wanted one.