We talked in person after 5 months of no contact

To make this quick me and my ex broke up 5 months ago sort of mutually. She wasn’t giving me what I wanted and she felt like she couldn’t be the person I needed and she wasn’t ready for a relationship. We went into no contact a few days after and I started my healing process. I blocked her and stopped looking at her socials. I was still hurt but I was doing better. I got curious a month ago and went on her socials that were now public (they weren’t before). Nothing on there was crazy but it got me thinking about her again. I then sort indirectly found out that she was seeing someone new and that threw me for a loop. Tried to call her a week or 2 after finding out but I played it off as a butt dial and deleted her number and that was the end of that interaction. But a few days ago I was at an appointment next to the restaurant where she works and as I was leaving I saw her. I stopped and we talked and she invited me into the restaurant for a beer. I accepted and she was my server. We caught up and actually had a decent chat. We sort of talked about me blocking her and I said it wasn’t personal and she said she understood. After a beer or 2 I got brave and asked if she wanted to talk again. She was hesitant but ultimately said yes that kinda turned into a maybe. I was clearly nervous and I think that turned her off. I gave her my phone and she put her number back into it. I said it’s no pressure and it’s totally up to her and she said she would let me know. I went home and cried from relief of dreading talking to her again but anxiety from being sucked back into her world briefly. I texted her the next morning about me leaving my fries at the table and if she saved them for me and she responded hours later saying they definitely got tossed. I responded saying that I figured they didn’t make it and she didn’t text back. So that’s where I’m at with it today.

I’m super mixed with my feelings because I’m not really sure what I want from her. I don’t want her back but I also kind of do. I think I just miss my friend and being wanted by someone. I asked her to talk but I’m not sure if that’s really what I want either. I guess I was just testing the waters to see where I sit with her. I know she won’t reach out to me to plan something but there’s a part of me that hopes she will. I’m very confused by all this. I’m happy that I know we are on good terms and she does have some care for me even if it isn’t romantic. All I know is that I definitely do not reach out to her again. The ball is in her court and I made it known that I’m good to speak to her again. I’m not going to wait for her either cause that can only lead to disappointment and sadness. I just need to kinda figure out what I really want from the situation and from myself.

I just thought I would put this here cause there’s a lot going on in my head and need a place to write it down lol