Still can’t wash his blanket a year later

Nearly a year ago we had to say goodbye to my sweet baby, he was a cat who had developed serious chronic pancreatitis and still nearly a year later the pain just hits me out of the blue. We had hospice come into the home and the blanket I held him in when we had to let him go was his favorite, if I had that blanket on he’d always hop on me and make biscuits and hold it in his mouth like he was a kitten. It’s been sitting in a drawer unwashed and I can’t bring myself to wash it. It’s not gross dirty, but I know it’s collecting dust and every time I have to open a drawer near it I just cry. Not sure why I’m posting this, I just can’t believe the day is just around the corner.