Leaving the system finally

As I push middle age I'm starting to see that the system that has caused so much misery for me might after all have been optional. I didn't know it was possible to get out of it, and yet now as I start to notice nature I see there might be more to life.

I've been conditioned by society and the education system to look at a tree and see a science book of text. It's a mechanical organism, everything about it is 'known' and documented. It appears like dead sentences.

My religious/Christian conditioning made me believe God was a person, with this person being the creator of everything. So I can't even look at a field without it feeling like it's the property/work of a person, which is I feel a highly unnatural (and unpleasant) way to view the world. There's no freedom here, you cant escape the concept of the person anywhere.

Now I seek to look at nature as it REALLY is. It is non-person - an antidote for the claustrophobic feeling of person being literally everywhere. I have a rudimentary understanding of the benevolence of nature, ie. the trees create oxygen which we need to live. But this is superficial and I'd like to go deeper with my appreciation.

So I would like advice on that. Perhaps you can share ways and methods in which you appreciate trees and nature? I'm not interested in magic and the existence of spirits would only be a bonus. Simply, I just want to now move away from the system and back to nature. Thanks for reading.