Huge jumpscare x2 on the same fieldtrip + vent

I had fresh cuts from the other day that I covered up with bandages. I still had some cuts "visible" not really but kind of. My group was on a field trip to do some photography and I took off my jacket because ITS FUCKING BLAZING HOT HERE. So anyways we're taking photos of a flag pole and suddenly my junior and batchmate suddenly see my arm and start asking omg what happened what cat scratched you. I got so alarmed by this I literally jumped from a crouching position and changed the subject. And then a few seconds later I look at this girl who bless her soul has received help with her mh. My eyes trail downwards and her thigh had scars. This made me feel horrible and insecure because I can't go that deep and I don't have the scars to show for my suffering. Now I'm struggling in school I come home and do nothing all day I don't eat I can't sleep I can't do homework. I'm growing distant from the friends who once were close to me. Friends I could've relied on they've given up on me. I'm in a constant state of having a headache and nausea Plus fatigue I literally can't catch a break. Nobody even wants to be with me anymore I'm the third to the pair. My friends are leaving me behind they feel so distant. The only thing that sets me apart from others is my sh but I want something special about me. Everything about me somebody else does also. I hate this I can't do this. I can't catch a break but others have it worse than me. I wish I didn't have commitments I wish I didn't have exams I wish I didn't need to stress about my national exam next year. I disgust myself.