Looking for advice on dealing with (likely) autistic partner

Disclaimer, while she isn't diagnosed, her ADHD psychiatrist said he strongly believes she actually has AuDHD, and possibly the ADHD diagnosis is incorrect and it's solely autism.

I'm typically very patient, but I do have ADHD myself and some of the issues are starting to take their toll.

When somebody writes a list of perceived flaws with their partner it always looks awful, but we generally work, it's just these issues come up and I'm in a bit of a cycle of burnout and we'd work better if we had a better approach to these.

She is fully convinced she's really good at understanding other people's motivations and intentions, but really isn't. I think this believe is a big driver behind why it's so difficult.

She struggles to understand (?) that other people feel differently about things that she does.

For example, she loves a certain genre of music that I really dislike. She can't understand why I wouldn't like it and talks to me about it, plays it, and asks me to go to events.

Linked to not reading people well, sometimes I'm basically glazed over when she's talking about her special interests for the 10th time that hour and my internal ADHD brain is saying 'please stop talking' but I wouldn't say it out loud because it's hurtful.

Almost the reverse of this, she wants to like everything I like, and constantly wants to get involved in my hobbies. I am a solitary person and my hobbies are my alone time, and she takes it as me not wanting to spend time with her or that she ruins my hobbies if she's there.

She also doesn't understand how the same activity affects people differently.

I really struggle with my mental energy if I'm busy with work or spend too much time with people, and eventually it manifests as a lack of physical energy if I don't manage it well, so I need a lot of time to rest and I'd built my life around a routine that worked.

If I have a bad week at work, she'll plan a date night that's going into town, going somewhere like a pub etc which is loud and busy, and as nice as it is that she wants to do something, it's the worst thing for my energy after a long week.

I then look ungrateful if I say I don't want to go, but if I do go I'm already mentally drained and it delays me getting back on track by another day or so.

Sorry that it's a long rant, but how can I approach this subject without it coming across as a list of 'here's everything you do that annoys me' and in a way somebody with autism would understand and take on board?