Sex toy to be more close ?

Hello all,

HLM here, with a LLF. We are more than 14 years together, 3 kids, we love each other and everything is fine, except the lack of intimate moments. If you are here, you all know the drill, i'm not gonna make another post to describe how much this situation can be infuriating or frustrating / sad.

My wife once told me that she does not need any sexual moment, period. Happily for me its not really true as we get intimate once or twice per month, which is not enough for me but still happy its happening once in a while. However, its always at my demand, and i cant expect a blowjob or a 69 or other position than missionary, even when she ask what a want... In any case, it has happened that she agreed to masturbate me when she did not want real sex, which is great as its still a way to bound together. But as she lack practice, it takes some times for me to climax so she usually ask that i finish myself, because her arm hurts.

So this is fine, but as she knows its a work for her, i'm sure she does not consider it really.

Now i'm getting to the sex toy part.

I saw (on instagram, yes) a sexologist who says that using a sex toy for men in a couple can be a way for the couple to find some intimacy, as its new and it does not mobilize the body of the women. The idea is to get some masturbator and get the women do it, so it became a couple activity. I found the concept interesting, as it can help my wife to have some special time with me without being herself tired (as the sex toy gives more sensation than a hand, the handjob will be shorter - no more hurting his arms). Obviously, i choose a masturbator relatively classy (not a fan of the things who emulate body parts) so i get a tenga spinner, and i will make clear that its not something i will force her to do, nor something that replace when we truly make love, but its something added to our sex life.

I will have tonight this conversation with her (or maybe tomorrow night, we will see how the day pass). I really have no idea how it will turn. I hope she will see my point and be interested, i fear she will think that this object will replace her (even if i will make it very clear that is never gonna be the case). In any case, i have to try something because i'm not really satisfied with my sex life, and i dont want her to ignore that. I will never put pressure on her, but i want her to make some effort and i think this can be a nice step.

Do any of you already had this conversation with the low libido partner ? And as a low libido partner, how would you react to this proposal ? How would you prefer that you partner present you this idea ?