i cant figure out how to make a friend

dont get me wrong, i have friends. its more just that i cant make meaningful lasting friendships, i have like 1 life long friend and thats it, its not like i can rely on him for everything, and i still feel brutally lonely. i think part of it is that people tend to say the kind things that they think you want to hear. for example i met someone recently online, they were super caring and i had fun hanging out with them online, as we were chatting we found out that by coincidence we dont live that far from each other, not super close, but a distance that it wouldnt be insane for one of us to drive to the other and back within a day to hang out for a day. when i found out i said like, maybe in the future we could meet up irl, they responded saying that they'd love that and we should meet up soon, ended up saying that we could in about a week. this was really exciting to me because i was putting effort into making online friends because i have felt super alone lately, and having them want to be irl friends felt unreal, they even asked if it would be ok if we cuddled and watched a movie when they visit and cuddles are actually my favorite and its been forever and it felt crazy to me that they were the one asking because its something i truly love but dont normally feel confident asking friends. we made plans for them to visit in a week like we meet in public make sure we feel safe, then they come to my apartment we cook dinner together and cuddle and movie if its still going well. so then a couple days later they tell me they dont think they'll actually be able to visit so soon since they dont have a job right now, i dont have a job right now either so i relate to that, and it would be financially unwise for me to pay for gas like that if instead the plan was for me to drive up to them. so i totally understand and just say i hope we can do that soon, and that if i can get a job then i'd be willing to pay for gas if they still wanna visit. then later on i talk to the friend i mention at the top of this ramble, who offers to pay for gas money so i could meet that friend. after sharing this news to the new friend they tell me, not to be rude but i dont feel comfortable meeting up with someone from the internet that i dont even know. ive barely known this person so thats fair and i dont blame them, feel upset with them, feel that they owe me, or any of that. but it still made me feel really sad, especially i feel like the way they worded it, it makes me sound like a weirdo for wanting to move fast and hang out right away, but i just said maybe we can in the future and they are the person telling me that theyd like to hang out soon, and cuddle. i feel dumb for getting excited. i also looking back at it feel that what provably actually happened was that they felt excited in the moment meeting a new person amd learning about how it would be possible and werent thinking clearly so they just let their excitement guide the convo, and probably when they said its about money it was already them realizing they arent comfortable, but i take it literally, i tend to take too much literally. and my continued excitement despite them bringing this up which like a normal person would take as a sign that they dont want to, was probably off putting and made them dislike me. in my eyes we had the same outlook on it, and i thought they shared the emotions i felt learning that a visit wouldnt be reasonable because of money. now that we've had these convos, and their most recent messages giving me the idea that they dislike me i am almost certainly not going to continue bugging them, i hate that because talking to them has been super fun, and i dont expect them to be the one to reach out to me after this so its like another potential friendship gone. seperate from this something i feel is a recurring thing when i make new friends is that im always more invested than they are. i dont have friends and meeting someone i vibe with is so amazing to me, i feel close with people quickly because its like, not something i ever have, and typically what i am to them is someone they can spend time with when the people important to them arent around, i dont think ive ever been the person important to someone, but my friends are always super important to me, and this disconnect tends to just ruin things. i dont know where to meet new people, ive had amazing lucky opportunities that turn into nothing every single time and every time i lose another friend it hurts so much, i always lose my friends if i do get lucky enough to meet someone. i know im the problem and im at fault for friendships ending, i dont know what im supposed to do though, i cant make friends when i am the way i am, and it feels impossible to change who i am without friends.