F19, M19, dating over a year - Am I too needy, or am I asking for the bare minimum in my relationship?

I’m 19F, my boyfriend is 19M, and we’ve been together for over a year. This is just something I wrote in my notes for him when I was trying to put my feelings into words. I’m posting this because I genuinely want an outside, unbiased perspective on our relationship and on whether I’m being unreasonable with what I’m asking for.
I know there are two sides to every relationship, and I’m aware that I have things I need to work on too. I’m not looking for people to automatically agree with me or tell me to break up with him. I honestly want to know if I’m expecting too much, being too needy/sensitive, or if my feelings and expectations are reasonable. I am not asking for reassurance or validation just an honest opinion.

“I feel like I’m begging to hang out, to talk, to do anything with you. The past 2 weeks I’ve been wanting to hang out (on the weekends because you are away for the week at work) but there’s always something that we have to do, something that does make us hang out but not in the way that I want, I don’t feel like hanging out is doing chores, important errands like moving furniture from point a to b, cleaning your car, selling it, doing my job, etc. I just want to be with you and relax. I want to just hang out. I feel like you are always tired and unable to talk. You said long ago that you would never go to bed if things weren’t right and you don’t want to go to bed when things are bed. It’s been months of this and you never once stuck to that, I’ve brought it up a more than a few times when things were rough and you said you couldn’t because you had to sleep, because of your work. I understand that but it was every time. I really wanted to talk things out but you like waiting and talking the next day so that’s what we always do. I say I want to talk but then it doesn’t happen, you even say “I know you don’t like going to bed when things are tough but…”. So I stopped bringing it up, I just started showing that I was upset instead of telling you. Hoping it would change what you thought or maybe make you want to at least do it for me. It didn’t. I know you aren’t a mind reader I just wanted you to maybe bring it up or notice that I stopped asking to fix things. You just got frustrated every time it happened. And recently I know I’ve been more difficult. So you’ve been frustrated more and more with me. I just don’t think you want to be with me or hang out with me. But you try and reassure me and say all of these things that are proabably true. That you do want to hang out you just aren’t able to as often because of work and balance, you love me, you are sorry. You say this over and over again. Every time it’s the same thing. But it doesn’t change. I never over think but I think I might be right now. A few times I ask you to call me before you go to work (around 5am +-) you do and most times I don’t answer because I’m asleep and miss your call, sometimes I do. I asked if you could leave me voicemails too if I don’t answer. You say oh I should’ve done that. Then tonight you asked me do you want me to call you, for the first time I said I don’t know, it might be a waste of time. You said well I need a yes or no because if you don’t answer I won’t. I said okay. I get it I just wish you knew what I wanted. I told you. It’s not a big thing. It’s just recently for the past months I don’t feel like you have gotten me. Maybe I’m too sensitive, maybe I’m too difficult but I feel like you should want to work with me. Maybe even tell me what you think is wrong and what you feel. I know you do try I just don’t think you might as much as I need you too. The last times we have done anything intimate (no sex) we didn’t get any aftercare because of a situation where we didn’t have enough time. You said you would make it up to me and we would have some later. Later never happened and I brought it up, the next time happened and it just wasn’t right so I stopped it and there wasn’t much aftercare. Or at least it wasn’t classified to me as that. It didn’t seem like care. During those times you didn’t give me much if any reassurance at all. I’m a virgin and waiting so it’s a big thing for me and I always tell you that I need it no matter what, you ask if it was enough and I say there could always be more no matter what there’s never too much. The last few times you haven’t given me much if any and it makes me feel really bad. You apologize and say you will more in the future. I say okay that’s fine, but it’s not and it doesn’t happen. I don’t feel like a priority. I don’t know if I really should be your very first one but I feel like I should be somewhere up there. All I want is for you to show me that you care. You do with words but not with actions. I feel like I’m begging. Am I wrung? I don’t know if I’m right for thinking like this and I don’t want it to become a big deal, it’s just how I feel. I do want to talk to you, I always do. I know you can’t and I do know that you want to like I actually do. And I do know you love me. I just want to be a priority in your life without asking you. Or for you to read in between the lines when I’m being difficult, to understand me better, to learn me, to know what I want to drink and eat when I’m sad, to know what I want without having to tell you 50 times for you to remember, to notice my patterns, to know me better. I feel like I’m asking for too much and I am sorry if I am, I don’t know if it’s too much to ask right now or if I should bring this up in segments so you can better understand. To be honest I might not even send this to you. Thing is, every time we have a convo I have things I say I will do and change and you do the same. I do believe that I change my ways slowly but surely and there really is a change but you maybe try for a few days then it happens again, then things you fixed a month or two ago happen again. It’s never really long term. That’s the part that really hurts too :(. I understand you can’t read my mind, and men and woman think differently, I just maybe thought you might understand me better by this point in the relationship. I have such heavy heart and it hurts quite a bit every 2 weeks or so. I don’t want my heart to feel sad. You also say it pains you to see me cry, but I don’t see you in pain when I do cry. You don’t seem sad and it doesn’t look like it hurts you at all. tonight you said you couldn’t hang up because I was going to cry, and you wanted to talk. I don’t really remember what I said but I said it was fine and to just go or something like that, definitely not those exact words though. Then you said you really did have to go to bed. And so you did. I texted you on insta pretending it was for someone else. You said ?. Then I said oh that was for so and so. You said gotcha gotcha. Then didn’t text back. Now I can see that’s a stretch but it’s happened before and I told you if I text you after something like that it’s because I really want to talk. It just sucks because I know you had to go to bed so I understand you couldn’t actually talk it was just pretty sad :( I know I can also be a bit annoying and obv frustrating but I wanted you to know how to deal with me and I know that might sound bad I just don’t know the correct words right now. I am sorry for being so needy. I want you to love me for who I am.”