My liked posts on TikTok might end our 5 year relationship 22F, 22M

Hello I’m 22f and my boyfriend is 2m and we have been together for 4 years, and we have had our rough moments together but we always have been able to get through to them. Unfortunately I feel like I’m the one who is always messing things up, in the past I have reposted things that made my partner uncomfortable and I have done my best to avoid doing so but somehow I always end up being called out for it. The first repost being about a video game I like to play on my phone called Episode in which you as the player can change your characters and love interests features to whatever you want. The video caption said. “When I see my daughter customizing their love interest so I know that that’s my daughter.” I thought it was innocent enough to repost but my boyfriend got upset since the comments mentioned how they make their love interests look a certain race which my boyfriend doesn’t look like, so he said that my reposting that is disrespectful since I’m saying that I change my characters to look different from him. I explained that I didn’t repost because of the race but because of how i like to play episode a lot. I still ended up apologizing to him because I didn’t want him to feel disrespected by my actions and promised to do my best to be more careful about what I repost on social media and from there we move on.

Everything is fine for like a month until he finds a repost I made in my instagram spam account with close to no followers those which are just my closest friends. I was a post saying. “When I’m talking to a rapper and he ahh but I gotta pretend I mess with it.” I’m not going to lie I was caught by surprise by that since it was a post i remember seeing a while back almost months before the first incident happened, and I recall making sure to not interact with it since I don’t relate to it but somehow it ended up being reposted. I blamed it on my old cracked phone screen because it did make me misclick things a lot. But oh man you would’ve thought I disrespected his whole bloodline on the way he reacted he said things that hurt me like. “I’m too grown to lack reading comprehension skills.” And that he couldn’t trust me since he thinks I’m talking to another guy. Which hurt because through out my whole relationship I have been nothing but loyal to him and try to prove to him I care day in and out. There were many other things said but I’ll try to keep things short. I tried to explain that I saw the vid but tried to not repost it because I had no reason to and blamed it on my phone screen, but he said that it my word against his thoughts and that he’ll give me the benefit of the doubt but to not interact with anything else that could make him doubt me and our relationship. And I promised to do my best.

That all happened in the beginning of this year and after that i truly thought that I was doing good by not reposting anything weird again. We had a good rest of the year and he even went to my home country to meet my parents for the first time and things were doing good. That was until recently, I feel bad for what I did and I’m in no way trying to excuse myself. I gave likes to 3 posts that made him upset. One saying “Appreciate #mspayforshit” and the guy in the vid basically spoke on how whenever a woman that chooses to spend money on you, to be grateful. And in the problem was that I liked a comment saying “mspayforshit and get treated like shit.” I gave it a like because of how I knew of ppl in my life that gave their all in a relationship and ended up being treated terribly. But I personally didn’t relate to the comment. I personally think that as long as both parties mutually spend on eachother that there is no issue. But he think that since I only gave a like to that specific comment and no others it seems like I feel that he treats me like shit. Which I don’t think, and I stated that many times as we spoke.

The next post said “how it feels to be in a relationship where the other person is relying on you for every need so they never feel like you are doing enough.” Ok so context. I moved from a different country to the US and at first I stayed with my step sis but since she got married, and pregnant she wanted me to move out as soon as I graduated high school so I did, but the area I was going to move to was dangerous and my boyfriend thought it was unsafe so he spoke to his parents about it and they told me that I can rent a room with them. Ever since I feel like a burden to them and my bf since there have been times where it has been hard for me to make rent, and I asked them to please excuse it, that’s only happened 2 times because of emergencies, but asides from that I do my best to be respectful of their space and they are very understand which I’m grateful for. I have had many other moments where I had no one but my bf to help me in my tough moments so I unfortunately have the thought that i burden him and hope he doesn’t feel used in the relationship. Yeah so he originally saw it as me feeling trapped in the relationship with him. But I did my best to explain myself to him. He said he understood and that he doesn’t feel that way.

And the 3rd post I liked which I admit was dumb of me to have interacted with even though I thought of it as funny because of how my friends have done that to me. It said “when I see a group of fine shi in the lobby and I gotta show my work bestie.” Lord. If I saw something like that on his likes I would know how i would feel about it. I apologized profusely and explained how in my previous jobs my work friends would come to me to talk about whoever they thought was cute to see if they should ask for their number. So I thought it was funny, not that i related to it. But i understand why he would be upset to see those videos with my likes.

He said that this would be the last time he will come to me about this and said I was micro cheating. I had no intentions of cheating in any capacity so i didn’t know what to say in response. I simply admitted being in the wrong and apologized. To which he replied by telling me that he was tired of hearing me apologize and expects me to make a change on my behavior from now on. I feel terrible and I don’t know what to do to make him feel better. He says he found those because he went through my iPad while I was at work to look for a pirate website to watch anime in and that the first thing he saw was my tiktok app opened so he scrolled a bit and saw the posts I had given a like too. I never go through his phone unless he is there with me because I trust him but i haven’t ever checked the things he likes. The only time I was kind of upset about him on social media is when he liked a girls stories where she was doing a thirst trap and she reached out to me to let me know he liked it.

Sorry for any typos, I’m currently uneasy and sleep deprived. What can I do to get his trust back