I am so scared

.Three weeks ago my husband and I went into a big fight because I found out he was doing things online behind my back.

The following week while drink he attacked me and tried to choke me. I called the police. I was not injured.

I talked to a therapist about working this through. It was the first time in our 11 years together that he was physically abusive. But he always had an anger issue which culminates when he drinks. So I told him to go to therapy and stop drinking, which he agreed to.

Two days ago I found two empty wine bottles. He confessed. I got mad but we didn't really talked about it.

Yesterday he came back from therapy and told me it is not gonna work out and he wants to separate. He claims that he still love me and always will. He is being very friendly, says he wants to be friends, told me I can keep anything I want... But what I want is him... I thought he was gonna buy me flowers and apologize but instead he wants a divorce. We just moved to a new country where I don't know anyone, I have no family, no job, I spent all day I'm bed crying like a dying whale. I can not understand his decision. Why he is not fighting for us. I am nothing without him.

I am holding on buna thread and only because of my dogs but I just really want to die. I habe no future without him. No dream. No life. No hope.

I do not understand how he can make this decision so quickly, he swears there is no one else (if there is it couldn't be physical we were always together). He mentioned patterns from the past he was resentful from, and the "incident" as being the drop that makes him wanna stop.

I just don't understand how can you love someone and not want to better yourself for them? I don't understand how three weeks ago I thought we had a great marriage and now I am living through the worst time of my life...

I am physically sick I vomited this morning and can't eat anything. I am so scared and so alone.

I don't know what to do