Crush on bestfriend(confused about identity)

Here, I'm 19M and he's 20M, we're in same uni and doing two different courses having one same major subjects.Now, we're in last year of college and I got attracted to him in 2nd semester but that time I knew it was all attraction so I didn't confess that thing but later in 3rd semester I told about this to my female bestie and our good mutual. Through her, I made an idea of how I felt about him but at that he replied to her,"I knew he(me) had a crush on him but he didn't utter one more word" and about his identity he's not sure but somehow his talks give an idea that he's a bit bicurious.

So, let me tell you everything from the start, in 1st semester, in college initials day, idk about him same for him but later within 20-25, we started to talk but somehow he was the first person who initiated the convos that time. Later, we were good friends and later best friends but at that time, I didn't have feelings for him just friendship. But in 2nd sem, I started to find him attractive not in an intimate way but his personality and thoughts were and are fascinating and unique. In 3rd sem, I told my female bestie about this but at that time I don't have that attraction for him but more I was deep-rooting for him cuz I had traumatic childhood, divorced & abusive parents, disrespectful family and even I got r*ped when I was 12 by a boy in my neighborhood who was 5 years elder, so all this distrubing events, but more than that I was more worried that if (hypothetically) we both got together and came out to our parents, for me, idc about my family whatever they feel about it but for him i was like what if his family don't accept and if I got added to their family their family got societies low eyes and have to face things like bad-mouthing and got outcast.

So, i dropped the idea of confessing to him. In 4th sem, I got mental and emotional breakdown and I was unable to feel the things and surroundings around me but somehow I overcame it in 4-5 months and now I'm in 5th semester, I'm having feelings to confess to him whether I got accepted or rejected but I want to confess this to him and let him know.

Cuz, I can't keep this thing to myself.

Give me advice; what should I do, should I confess or in what way and how to overcome this feeling of mental and emotional breakdown?