Twin dads who work full time if you could weigh in…How much do you help your wife/partner?

So this is my situation….i have 11 month old twins, im a full time sahm, i EBF, cosleep, handle all night wakings by myself, change all diapers, do bedtime by myself, mornings by myself, bath time by myself, all meals for the girls by myself. Plus i do all dishes, cleaning, i usually cook breakfast & lunch for me and my partner.

My partner pays all the bills but doesn’t have a traditional 9-5. He’s an artist and works different events so travels sometimes for a week or more at a time. When he’s home he’s either making art in his studio or taking care of business related things. He cooks dinner every night and does all grocery shopping. Since his studio is at home, he take little breaks to play with the girls here and there throughout the day while i do dishes or take a shower.

So this is the system we’ve established…i take care of 99.9% of childcare and he works, gets groceries, cooks dinner, & pays the bills. I will say in the newborn phase when he took off of work he helped me a TON but every since i switched to EBF (around week 6) and he went back to work he’s been pretty much hands off except for play time.

But here’s the thing. I’m low key feeling resentment because I’m burnt out. And then i feel guilty because he literally pays for everything and works hard to put food on our table. And don’t get me wrong he’s a great dad in a lot of ways….But i can’t help but feel like he should be helping out more….And I’m not going to lie I’ve been doing this by myself for so long that I’ve gotten pretty efficient and used to doing everything by myself but it’s still hard as fuck. The few times I’ve asked him to help with changing a diaper or even helping with bedtime my partner will make a comment about how it’s “not his job” or just visibly look annoyed. Keep in mind he has a very traditional view of men having the role as the provider and women having a role as the caretaker.

Is this fair? Is this normal? Maybe if some twin dads could weigh in who work full time and pay bills…how much do you help?? Is it normal to just work and expect to not help out at all??