Survived and thriving

Firstly thank you

All of you

This sub was discovered at my lowest point
7 months of a relationship which lowered me to depths never discovered and values stripped to bare bones

I made the leap and it was hell

Nothing I have ever experienced before in my life

I’m 48 years old, divorced, reasonably successful, great social life and decent working balance

It nearly broke me

Never before being an anxious attachment individual, obsessively checking socials, counting the days of NC, waking up in sweats, tears listening to audio books

The sub showed me that there is hope and this isn’t just me, there is many more souls healing and your support truly saved my life

I am now (6 months post breakup) in a happy relationship, fit, healthy and mentally sound

What helped, well, for me

1. NC means NC, block on everything, do not check socials, restart the clock if you do

2. Stop caretaking the borderline audio book, whole again audio book

3. Let yourself go through despair, anger, depression, anxiety, rage. Feel it, process it, do not distract yourself, it does not work

4. For me indifference was the aim. You cannot heal whilst holding resentment no matter how much shit you went through

5. Therapy. It works, EMDR for me

6. Friends, family. But be aware, unless they have first hand experience they will not fully understand how difficult this is. You will get the usual ‘get over it’, ‘it was only x months, ‘just find someone else’.

7. You will heal. You will heal. It may not feel like it, you will heal. They will not

8. You will heal

9. Be kind to yourself. Constantly

10. One day this will be a lesson, they were only a visitor

If you ask me now would I do this all over again; the answer is yes
It made me face some home truths about past trauma and has made me a better person
I would go through the pain again to get to this point

Finally, thank you all again, your words of encouragement, the stories of shared experiences and pain helped me greatly

You
Will
Heal

Peace my friends