3 of my fave mates came up, and had a class time. Smoked up, watched zoolander for the billionth time, played some football and xbox, music, and singing together and just overall had a lovely night. 

Have just been in a real funny mood the last few weeks so it was real nice. Gonna have to end a 4yr relationship real soon, fucked up levels bigtime, parents will 50/50 disown me when they find out I'm on e and I'm so terribly fucked for prospects of passing that combined together - I naturally enough have been a complete anxious mess recently.

Tonight was good though. Hanging out with frens who know and were okay with the idea that I'm trans was nice (even if I still manmode and haven't asked to be referred to with different pronouns/name). It makes it feel like maybe some of the problems ARE just in my head and that maybe I can find happiness and a decent life anyway. Tnight was a rare true occasion where I could take my mind off bad things & gloom. I'm really glad too I'm not T-dominant anymore and having that big weight off my shoulders made the happiness feel proper genuine. 

Started to doom a little bit for a second there, but I've decided to delete it. Today was a good day, and ima sleep now and leave it at that.

Maybe (and I pray!!) things are going to be okay in the end. I'll try take it one day at a time and savour the ones like this ❤️ 

Had a nice night with my frens, and could stop thinking for a while