Can somebody just tell me how a person sticks to a belief knowing it breaks eventually?

I am 18, repeating class 11 and 12th after spending a couple of months in rehab for I hated science and the trauma was huge so I left my hometown, parents and friends. Currently living in another state of India and acing exams+public speaking.

Based on my experiences I have realised that there is no belief that cannot be questioned. Even death itself seems fragile, futile and has a assumed imagery. Tmrw I have to make choices and live by it maybe for the years to come, will I ever be able to believe in something/someone truly or I will go on living a life that works on detachment but can't be a monk because I am a slave of convenience.