Am I [22F] wrong for being upset that my boyfriend [22M] canceled our plans last minute?
My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) have been together for 2 years. We had plans this weekend that he made in advance. A few weeks ago, he bought us all-inclusive game tickets, so this was something we had both known about and planned around for a while. We’ve also previously spent a lot of time with his family on trips and other things, so I viewed this as an important opportunity for us to have some intentional time together. We also haven’t seen each other at all this week.
Tonight, my boyfriend was out hanging out with his older brother, and everything between us seemed completely normal. Then, around 10 p.m., he told me that he wanted to go out of town with his friends this weekend to do fantasy instead.
I told him that I was upset because he was potentially canceling plans that we had made weeks in advance, and he was bringing this up very last minute. I want to make it clear that I am not upset that he wants to spend time with his friends. I completely understand that he has his own friends and needs time with them. I don't expect him to spend every weekend with me, and I wouldn't want him to feel like he can't make plans with his friends.
What bothered me was that we already had plans. He had bought the tickets weeks ago, and this wasn't something that was suddenly impossible to attend. It felt like our plans were being pushed aside at the last minute because something else came up that he would rather do.
He told me that he needs time to see his friends, but I tried to explain that I wasn't upset about that part. I was upset about the fact that he was canceling something we had already planned together. He apologized and said that he would figure out what he wanted to do in the morning.
I'm still upset because I feel like our plans should have mattered enough for him to consider them before making the decision to potentially go out of town with his friends. At the same time, I don't want to be controlling or make him feel like he isn't allowed to have plans with his friends.
So, am I valid for being angry and hurt by this? Is this a reasonable thing to be upset about, given that our plans were made weeks ago and he brought up canceling them at 10 p.m.? Or am I overreacting and should I be more understanding about him wanting to spend time with his friends?
TLDR: My boyfriend and I had plans this weekend that he bought tickets for weeks ago, but at 10 p.m. he told me he might cancel them to go out of town with his friends. I'm not upset that he wants to see his friends; I'm upset that he is potentially canceling our long-standing plans at the last minute. Am I valid for being angry and hurt?
Posted Aug 29, 2026, 3:12 AM UTC · locked