For the late diagnosed women, did you have to grieve your past potential?

I literally was typing on another post in this sub with some there light at the other end of the tunnel and I brought this up.

I spoke about this with my therapist and had a great cry about this.

I can point out several times when if I only knew about my adhd sooner, my life would have looked different in a positive way. I understand that technically this is speculation but it actively brought a sense of deep seeded anguish and frustration to me that those versions of myself doing those great things were sabotaged by myself because of my impulsive/self-sabotagjng ways. I remember several specific times in K-12 where if they knew what to look for it in little girls back then I would have been caught early (honestly, looking back I had textbook adhd for girls they just never looked because I was a girl and a black one at that. they *teachers, providers, etc* didnt know what to look for or just assumed other things🤷🏾‍♀️. Im 34 BTW)

Anywho... Post cry for the past versions of myself and for now I feel like I can move through it but having to say goodbye to the potential mes was sad. Also, I have worst health problems that i have had *therapy* to deal so my bounce back didnt take long...

How any of you felt this way???