Narcissistic dad

I don’t know where to begin there’s so much more that happened but these are what I thought of so far. I’m 18F, is asian and lives in asia.

1. Dad acts like we (me and my brother 13M) “owe” him because he went through all that trouble to raise us “ungrateful” kids. The “ungrateful” was when I occasionally crash out because I was overwhelmed by him.

2. Sees us as money machines and it is our duty to take care of them financially once he retires. We are to give a certain amount of our salaries every month.

3. Expects me to also get married one day and become a stay at home wife as if that’s a rule to go by. Can not handle seeing women earning more than their man, IS INSECURE ASF and talks down on women.

4. Never admits his mistakes and crashes out saying we’re being disrespectful for talking back when we ask him to take accountability. There was once HE lost his card and immediately blamed my mum then went on to blame me and my brother. Asked him where he last saw it and totally ignored it. Guess what the card fell under his car seat.

5. Makes a bunch of empty promises in order to make you do something for him. And when it’s done he brushes it off or gets mad again if anyone brings it up.

6. Expects everyone to serve him after his long day of work and refuses to do simple tasks by himself. As if my mum wasn’t cleaning up the house and cooking for us.

7. He is always right. If he tells you it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. If you attempt to try it once he’ll start yelling and getting mad saying “I TOLD YOU IT DOESNT WORK WHY WONT YOU LISTEN” all that just for trying to connect the wifi to the tv btw. Almost tried to hit me because I was pissing him off.

8. He tries to bring everyone down to feel superior. Brings up past mistakes to shame or embarrass you and lowering your confidence.

This has really affected me mentally, and I feel like I get overwhelmed/irritated very easily these days ever since I started working at his office desk job. I feel the urge to destroy things when it gets to a point though I never do only because it’s expensive to replace it and I’m scared of getting scolded by my dad.

I’m just so tired of this and I can’t move out because I’m not financially stable to do so. Also I’ll be depending on him for my college funds. Though he’s been using me being overwhelmed easily to try and get me to change my mind of going to college. Makes it look like he cares about me and afraid I’d get bullied by people but he just really doesn’t wanna pay for my college/he wants me to do a business degree which I refuse because I hate anything to do with business/desk jobs. I’m more into hands on and practical work.

There’s alot more but I’m just gonna leaving as it is as I’ve said most of the things I wanted to. Thanks for reading all the way.