I hate my mom

She makes me so angry that I wanna cry and scratch at my skin, she eats loudly, she yells, complains everyday, using me as a slave not a child, I’ve never heard a single “ I love you” without pressure or when she wants something I’ve never heard “I’m proud of you, you are useless, everybody loves you” n every heard it, but what I’ve hear was being called the r slur, an idiot, a cvnt and every other swear word, I can even study all by myself cuz I have troubles with concentration, phone addiction etc and my mom blames it all on the phones and that in a lazy ass, she doesn’t study with me yet still complains, I cannot say I’m tried or I dint want to live bc she will be “oh what you know about real life, imagine working eight hours blah blah blah, you don’t have any problems, you have food and roof under your head, you’re fine” I’m tired. I don’t know if she’s just ignoring or doesn’t care. I remember about sh once she saw my leg and I had small thin cvts, I don’t remember how much and she said omg what happened, by my reaction is clear something happened bc I ran away and pulled away and said that it was from shaving, was it obvious or she ignored it? Also a sharpener blade fell out of my phone case and she said what’s that and I quickly grabbed it and I was like nothing and I rushed to throw it away. And she did nothing about it, she knows my meltdowns, reactions and everything, she just doesn’t know what I write, vent, text or do