Got Reminded of one of my weirder parenting wins this morning

First day of my cycle, I’m feeling all crampy and gross, so this little win makes it a little better.

My kid [NB - AFAB since it is relevant] is getting to the age where it is possible for puberty to start kicking in. It’s unlikely, but it is possible, as it is with their friend group. My wife mentions we should probably get keep a stash of pads in the house for if our kid or their friends need it all of a sudden. I use a combination of a cup and period panties, and my wife is trans, so we don’t need to have much on hand. My wife then says we should be explain menstruation to our kid if we haven’t.

Me: Already done. [Name], you remember “tearing down the curtains”?

Kid: giggles Yeah.

The story behind that? Some time ago, I feel like over a year ago, but I’m not certain, the topic of menstruation came up around my kid. I’m a big fan of normalizing bodily functions, so I took it on myself to explain it. I once heard menstruation described as a redecorating cycle, so I took that metaphor and ran with it.

The metaphor summarized: Over your monthly cycle, your body will make your uterus a nice comfy space for a fetus to grow into a baby. It will make everything nice and cozy, but if, after a month, there’s no fetus, your body decides to tear down all the decorations it put up. (Insert explanation that, because these are things your body puts in place, you would actually get sick if they were left there. It’s all normal and nothing is wrong)

I decided to present this in the most ridiculous way possible.

Me (as “the body”): Oh, this looks like a nice place for a baby to grow, I think I’ll make it even nicer! Babies like dark, right? I’ll put up these nice curtains. singsong dancing around the room Puttin’ up some curtains, puttin’ up some curtains, puttin up some curtains

Me: shocked pikachu face Wait. There’s no baby?! Why did I do all of this then?

Me: RAGE, complete with dramatic arm motions RAAAAAH I DON’T NEED THESE CURTAINS!!! RAAAHH TAKE THEM DOWN RAAAAHHH

Me: smiley face And then the cycle begins again!

Bromos, my kid had an absolute giggle fit with the rage motions and made me do the whole thing again. And again. And again. I don’t remember how many times I did that, but it stuck with them. I think I may have been cramping, thus prompting the discussion, but hey, things we do as parents.

Anyway, my kid knows what to expect when they start menstruating. I may need to warn their friends’ parents that if their kids come home from school one day with however my kid decided to present “tearing down the curtains,” that hi, it’s my fault.