I tried dear baji and islambrella so you don’t have to

I signed up for dear baji after seeing all the hype on social media. I knew it wouldn’t be fruitful and it wasn’t. She promises you she’ll find a match for you before the end of your first months membership but she doesn’t. When you cancel then she’ll send you a direct email. In my case the latter never happened to me but my friend. We both cancelled and I disputed the charge with my bank as services were not rendered.

I heard about islambrella through my friends. It’s local to Texas but focuses on US/Canada but heavily on Texas. I’m not in TX but I gave it a shot. The founder kept sending me confirmation emails for our consult call. But on the day of our consult he never showed up. I took time out of my day for it. I got a text from someone apologizing and if I wanted to reschedule.
I never responded.

I realized that these two platforms may work for some IF you are conventionally attractive or fit their guidelines age wise or marital status wise.

They seem to pick and choose who to work with because some of my friends and ppl I know got responses from both but some of my friends and I didn’t but it’s not like we’re fugly or anything lol.

I then signed up for my local mosques matrimonial. You just share you bio data and no pics are posted just like the isos on Reddit.
That was also a flop bc no one ever engages, either men or women. I only got one response in 2 months. And this platform has ppl of all ages ethnicities and marital status.

Moral of the story…it’s your naseeb. Diversify your search, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, don’t let your worth be defined by likes or folks approaching you online/in person.

Once you are true to yourself, confidence arises, that in turn creates a shield, not in a toxic way, but a shield where you don’t ruminate on the search.
Irl is where it’s at. That’s just my opinion though. I’m going to try that next as we have some big Islamic conferences and events coming up in N America like ISNA, Muslim Fest, RIS, and a couple of Muslim tech and professional networking conferences.