Rapist parents that should be divorced

To start, I (18) was born out of a baby trap/stealthing situation where my mom did not tell my dad she had stopped her birth control. He never wanted kids. I would define this as rape due to the lack of informed consent.

Now, I recently found out that my dad raped my mom about 10 years ago. At this time he was struggling with bipolar disorder. My mom seemed to be upset thinking about the time period but still loved him and wanted to help him. Her talking with me also brought back a wave of terrible memories I was hiding from this time. I was told this a few days ago and can't look at my dad the same. I really think he isn't a bad person but I just can't think of him the same.

They aren't divorced but my mom in recent years has wanted to due to his alcohol addiction. She's been talking about it more recently. My dad is also autistic and seems emotionally unavailable. I support her but I wish I didn't have to grow up with their fighting and his drinking, if they had only separated earlier.

I really hate both of them and wish I was never born.

I don't know what to do with this information. I don't want to tell my friends and I'm trying to hold it from my brother (14). I really need some advice/outside opinions.