30s and emotional taxation

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way. I turned 30 this August and i legit have a friend and my own sister tell me how I should quicken my pace and get my shit together. Now I agree with the fact that they want me to have my shit together but not through these statements. It feels emotionally taxing whenever I think about it.

Did I live my life enough? Am I doing this for myself or for others? 30 doesn't feel like a milestone and it sure feels like a burden more like it. I hate being told I'm on a clock, be it body clock or mental clock or whatever the shit that is. To make it worse, I'm trying to heal from past hurt. I don't know if I'm the only one but I feel numb. I feel disconnected and disoriented. I'm questioning everything and sometimes i don't feel like life has anything to offer to me. Anything but pain. I feel like a loser sometimes. I feel like I'm drifting away from what I truly am but I can't do anything about it. The more I try to be myself, the more people try to shut me down.