Over a year lasting flare and destroyed mental health

Info; I already suffer from anxiety, cptsd, ocd, depression since childhood. Been a bit better for a couple of years before this.

TLDR; Over year long problems with rheum medication, I am constantly inflammated from head to toe and my mental health is in severe crisis. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. 😭

So, I've had bad PsA flare since April 2025 after adalimumab stopped working.

In that time my doc just said I need to use it more often, every week. (I used it every 2 weeks before). I started having severe and long lasting flu for every two months that ripped my mental health into pieces. I started feeling more melancholic.

In October I finally said that this is enough, I cannot live like this, we have to switch meds.

Doc switched adalimumab to golimumab (simponi).

I used first on lower dose for three months that didn't help me so on January 2026 we dosed up.

Suddenly I started getting sick again, and this time more severerly. I had bad stomach flues, and unexplained fevers that lasted long time.

Then in April this year 2026 suddenly all my liver test sky rocketed to over 400 and rhey admitted me to the hospital. It was golimumab and i had to stop every rheum meds immediately.

For two months I was without ANY meds for PsA and inlfammations went crazy. I ate prednisolone for whole summer and also got injections straight to joints but everytime they came back. In the summer they started Taltz (IL-17) because I can't use TNF-inhibitors any more.

At this point my mental health is already TORN to pieces. I am crying all the time, my ocd and anxiety have become more insufferable. On top of all of this pain, inflammation, brain fog and insomnia and panic attacks and other symptoms. I can't take this anymore. I want to cry all the time and I snap out from every little thing. I feel like there is no more life to me to live for.

Ps. I go to therapy, and physical therapy every week. And eat ssri for the mental health. Don't use drugs or alcohol but considering that soon.