Is it his ex or me??

By june i mean we only knew each other for 2 months by then and we had so many fights, so many times we didn't even properly talked in those 2 months...so barely we talked for a month properly. After may there was no contact, he blocked me everywhere. and i texted and brozoned him by the end of july and i blocked him instantly( he was so anti to be bro zoned by me, before it, so) after that i completely detached, because if i bro zone there will be no more thinking of them...so.

Yesterday was rakshabandan so i opened his account to message and i saw " i met her, when i was not looking for love, i lost her when i loved her the most" labelled on the whole video where he was very sad almost like crying in it.

He started dating when he was in secondary school ig, then they brokeup because of families. His ex was the only girl in his life and they dated for almost 8 years. And by the time we met they been brokeup for 16 months something...i only asked if he ever loved someone before. Then he said he been in a relationship for 8 years, that girl still loves him, but they brokeup because of her family" except those 3 sentences he didnt mentioned more, as if he dont wanna talk about it. Even later whenever i bring her conversation on not giving her up he used to say " you are just overthinking" " i dont wanna talk about it". I have no idea of how they were(but 8 years is pretty long all their teenage) and if im in their place i would never give up for family. He posted so much about his ex which makes me think....she is the one who left him.

We met very unexpectedly in our lowest situations. We both realized we are very alike in personality, thoughts and behaviors we clicked so fast. I started to fell for him, so i thought does he. And how i noticed( he once talking to my mom, and he saw me...as i was reaching them, he quickly left in nervousness and even though i was behind he left the door on my face) we were talking whole night, and behaving like strangers in person. He used to avoid eye contact, and only look at me...when i was not. But stay very much aware of me. And explain a lot. (He is mostly like "what she will think"? In all that behvior)

He used to know my pain, my sadness, my anger even before i explains it...so i felt known before i said anything( he was very attentive, genuinely used to be concerned for me and get angry whenever someone treated me wrong) and suddenly one day he was affraid that he is getting attached to me. He dont wanna lose me, but dont wanna stay attached(thats what he said) so he used to talk sometimes and sometimes don't.... we had so many fights, deep discussions regarding. ( and being the idgaf, tempered person like me...whenever i get angry he used ro be the one to reach out ever single time, and he is aware im angry because of what and he explains till we become normal again. And also he thinks of me whenever we are not talking to each other, when i go silent). We met again after a "we never gonna talk again" right the next day after a while...we were so happy to see each other, and his sister was blushing looking at me and him, i dont understand why...and she even started shipping us infront of me. But however his behavior was very sweet with me. The second time we met again we were not talking from few days as i blocked...but this time i felt clearly he likes me. (He was very frustrated and bothered because im ignoring him on face, as i left the place (he thought im leaving)from there he came after me , but i didnt left and sat somewhere out and he came to where i was and sat 2 seats next to me there, doing nothing and just being aware. After 30mins silence, he Eventually tried to bring me in conversations so that he could make me talk , and after some tries he succeeded. Which made him very happy that i didnt left, he has to go somehwere and his siblings were forcing but he didnt wanted to go, and making silly reasons to not go. And he was openly attentive towards me infront of all his family, so it was like that. Even though i didnt talked to him much, thats what happened. And he texted me if i reached...i know he would be texting so i unblocked. 😂( i was high on moon coming back that day, so sure of it)

He used to be busy( frl, i mean i cant blame for that...becausr those are real situations) he suddenly makes time in one 4-5 days and talk for an 1-2hrs or somethinh and gone again( i felt im investing more time, waiting for messages and all) so i was more frustrated. But when he texted that one hour when talks i find him missing me, thinking about me in those few days we didnt talked. (He was affraid to call me on a thought what i would think?is it obvious?) But he used to be obvious on the time he talked to me, the next day tryna not to be obvious its like that.

So from his conversations alone and his behavuor: im important to him, he dont wanna lose me, he dont treat his other friends the same way he treats me, and if i tell him he was on my mind indirectly, he would talk about the times when i was( so it was like mutual thing going on)

He was in grief, and he invited me over( and completely ignored me, but sent other people to take care of me. Again he canr bare me ignoring or the distance between us( he gets triggered) and explained he only invited me and no one else, and he invited because he missed me so much and wanted to talk and also was sad thinking i wont be going, but when he saw me he was felt so happy and pleasant.( he directly said that first time)and we ended up talking for 2 and half hours. He have a soft side for me. (He told everyone to left the room so he could talk and he talked using gentle tone... a little bit of flirting) the next day i asked what are we...he said good friends. Then i questioned his behaviors toward me... like he likes me( he is against being called as bro, and said if i call him bro, he will stop talking and dont force him) he didnt denied, but said i need time to think...and stopped talking(because i said, i wont be talking again if he dont give an answer). This is us knowing each other for just 2 months.

When i reached out after a month he said he thought i would be moved on already. But he also said he always wanted to talk to me, and missed me in all those days, but said he was affraid where it would go, and he is lost and exhausted because of the grief and said not just you, im is not ready for a relationship even if my ex come back. Everytime i question his behavior he dont say you are overthinking...he just donr answer. But label it as friends. And he suggests to be friends for life and he is not ready to let go. So i got pissed off his behavior and tried to let go, but he didnt wanted me to let go ...but stay a friend. So i pulled a move....i will start treating you as a bro-friend. He was like...no dont force me. When i asked why? And he is comfortable with other friends call him bro...he dont have a problem. He said just dont force me, they treat me like a brother. When i said im gonna treat you like that from now, he is against it so badly.

So i got frustrated thinking he is playing with me( i abused using heavy words on his personality, calling names like 7-8 messages ) Thats when i fell for the second time to him, thats also when i realized im not just a friend to him again. Even if he wanna see me that way. When i scolded that bad(being the heavy tempered and idgaf guy, he was choosing his words...even though he was frustrated so badly in a peak for hours...he stayed talking for hours. "He said nothing but im still in shock, cant able to digest what just happened, i lost respect in you..and you will never gain it to and went on talking in his softer side again....and he stayed talking for hours because i was forcing him to block me, even after that heavy moment, and he was not ready to let go and want us to be friends and wants me to stay in his life. But i didnt wanted to stay in between because its a risk staying as friend when i could develop more feelings(it was platonif though) so i told him, since he is not letting go, i would be treating him bro...he explained agaon he dont want to. And i said no its safest option i decided to treat you ....he blocked me.

When i asked him why he dont get angry or control his anger on me. He said " because i dont wanna lose you" " i dont want things to escalate so if you get angry, i try to stau calm...so i wont lose you"

When i asked him you dont treat yoir friends this way. And you also know, you dont even treat friends this way( even if its best friend we stay in a idgaf , tempered way, but why me? Why you treat me special and important) he said because i see myself in you. This is what he said before blocking me.

So i texted him a more tjan a month ago and called him bro and blocked him instantly.

And i texted him again(because i needed his help, not to talk)almost a montb ago, and i called him bro and asked help, he replied first and seemed like he gonna talk....and soon posted " love me again..something" and i called bro again...he didnt even texted again.

And that is the post he made..." i met her, when i was not looking for love, i lost her when i loved her the most"

So is it about his ex? Or me??

Do you think he loves me?