How do you remain supportive of non-4B women without sounding like a male-hater?

How do you remain supportive of women who would still date and marry knowing that they are at the losing end of the relationship?

I realise that some women would rather tolerate weaponised incompetence, rudeness and rape culture from their partners rather than be single.

Society sees single women as bitter and male-hating women.

If a woman highlights certain red flags other women should look out for and advise to be cautious when dating - they'd get downvoted on Reddit. I suspect I'm being downvoted by men who thinks I'm 'discouraging women from love'. They'd hate it if lesser women are in the dating pool right? Oh and some men are not even aware that watching porn is part of rape culture.

I also see responses along the lines of - women over a certain age shouldn't be fussy when it comes to dating, women who are alone keep other women alone, etc.

On a separate note - do you still stay in touch with your friends who are actively dating or are married?

• Have any of them given you the vibes that they are better than you for settling down and having a man?

• How do you react when they text you to vent about their marriage problems?

I have no problem with women in healthy relationships. The ones that they have to put up so much are the ones I get sad about.

Is it better to just stay away from male-centered women?

Sorry for being all over the place and for adding extra information. Some of the questions have been on my mind. You don't have to answer every question in my post.

Thanks you for your time and please be patient with me as I still have a lot of learn.

Edit to add: I reconnected with someone from school. We're in our 30s, more like acquaintances and not in any friend group at the moment. We were never bffs and only text each other (maybe once a month). She shared that her husband would rather watch porn than sleep with her. She would feel insecure, they would talk, argue and then she would cry. They are a DINK couple. I don't mind hearing her out about this.

We would sometimes talk about the news or anything that is going viral in the city (in Asia).

Every other week, there would be some man in the news or local subreddits who get caught taking unconsensual videos of women in public or some boy or man taking part in rape culture.

The thing that gave me the ick is that she would always make a remark about what the victim is wearing and labelling them as 'attention seeking clothes'. She's mentioned this multiple times on separate occasions.

I've explained to her that it sounds like she's victim blaming and point blank asked her what she really meant. This time she backpedaled and said this

'And I don't mean girls should be harass cos of their dressing.. But I stand by my point that girls who dress provocatively is attention seeking.' (Yes, that quote is a copy-paste from our messages).

She tried to explain herself but I'll leave it out so this post won't be longer than it should be. To be honest, I don't really understand her explanation 💀 If you're curious about her full response and want to try help me understand, I will share it in the comments.

I feel so upset and conflicted. Just sharing one of the issues that have been bothering me lately. 🥲