i’ve been passively suicidal for the last seven years but i think i’ll actually do it soon

im 21 i’ve been extremely depressed since i was 13/14 i have only been going because i had hope that all my health complications would get better and that id be able to eventually start transitioning but neither are true. i do not have hope anymore that anything will get better and its kind of just my reality. its only gotten worse over time. and truly everything has been tried.