I’m thinking of leaving my gf of two years because I wanna try it with guys

I keep jerking of to gay porn and downloading Grindr but I keep getting to scared to meet up with the guys because my gf might find out, whenever she’s at work or not home I practice with dildos jsut imagining what it would feel like and I need it so badly, would it be worth it to just cheat or should i leave her??