OCD makes me want to give up

I’ve struggled with OCD since around age 6 (ROCD since high school) and I am now nearly 22 years old. I got officially diagnosed a little over a year ago and have been in OCD therapy as well as taking SSRI’s since then. The therapy and meds have helped to an extent but I feel like I’m hitting a wall now which has led to a change in psychiatrist and upping my dosage. I want to have hope, I really do, but it’s getting harder and harder. I’ve spent the last 4 months of summer vacation suffering so badly from endless rumination and spiraling. I can’t even count how many times I’ve hit rock bottom and wanted to give up. No one truly understands what I’m going through in my head no matter how many times I explain it and it makes me feel so alone that I just want to cut everyone out of my life. I keep getting so miserable and terrified to the point of feeling very suicidal. I feel so ridiculous and weak for feeling that way because no one I love understands how these OCD thoughts could drive me to that point. I “have to fight,” apparently. I’ve been fighting for over 15 years and I just don’t want to do it anymore. Does anyone else feel that way?? Giving up is NEVER the answer and I know that one day I’ll have a better life, but gosh I just need someone to understand that what I’m going through is truly the most terrifying experience—even if it’s technically all “in my head.”