Having other people tell you that you’ve changed since losing your soul pet

Of course I’ve changed. It’s only been a few months and she was with me for 13 years. I’ve never lived in my adulthood without her. Losing her completely broke me and I’m still trying to put myself back together.

It hurt to hear the way the “supportive” people in my life described me. They said I’ve developed weird behaviors and I say things I normally wouldn’t. They only gave me a couple examples, and then said they didn’t want to tell me more in case it made me hurt more, but they were too late.

They pointed out that I buy flowers regularly and keep them by her urn. They said I’ve been too fixated on volunteering at the cat shelter, but I have so much love with no place to go, and since we’re not ready to adopt, the next best thing for me is volunteering.

I don’t even know how they’d react if they knew about my private grief rituals. Every morning, I touch her urn and say good morning. I do the same thing at night and tell her good night. I talk to her when I’m home alone in the afternoons if I’m feeling particularly lonely and down. This is how I can carry our bond moving forward. That is the only way I can have her.

There are some days I’m very sad, but I’ve reached a point where I ride the waves more easily. I’m going to change with each loss and each traumatic decision I have to make. I watched my soul cat die while I held her. I will never be the same.