Getting a lot lonelier cause of them

Where to start?

Ok good news Im moving out to uni soon, yay!!

Bad news, mums being an absolute party pooper.

Ik most Asian kids end up performing REALLY well in their studies. I just didn’t? Ok i’ll be frank I have a couple of disabilities and i was really ill exam season and I had to have emergency dental stuff on the day of my exam etc etc.
You’d think mother dearest would understand that I got bare minimum grades because i went through hell clearing the exams.

Anyways I got into my uni still (absolute miracle to this day Alhamdullilah) but she is still not fully happy.

No I didn’t get A’s and yes Im pretty butt hurt abt that but she is constantly in a sour mood and on top of the grade disappointment she is like “oh dont bother cleaning u wont be here soon anyway “

And also, ALSO, she said how she doesn’t feel as though she i have returned her on her investment in my education. Which I knew she would do last year when I had to become a private candidate last year for medical reasons. And cause i knew that i paid my exam fees from my own savings around 2k gone. Im constantly spending money not on me but cause of them.

Everything i do she just scoffs and then she is surprised why i dont want to hang out with her. Its bloody depressing.

I heard an Islamic scholar say how cutting off the family is yada yada not good. Ofc its not and rn i have no intention of doing that but these scholars fail to see the reasons ppl even do that. Home life is depressing af.

I have so much anxiety because of her and i find myself stuttering when i speak purely because im always anxious.

Idk what the right thing to say anymore because i have genuinely spent over a year isolated in this house.

Idk if i can still be that confident bubbly person i was because i feel like im 2 seconds away from a breakdown all the time.

Idek what to do anymore.

Because my fear is im gonna be stressing in uni abt them. If i have called enough etc. she stresses me out so much.

She knows im terrified of her but she always blames me. Like its my fault.