Drastic perspective changes and compartmentalization

cw: mention of emotional abuse

I'm trying to see where these parts about myself come from, and if anyone else can relate.

Once I consciously see something for what it is, and that truth is hugely incongruent with how I see or move through the world, I process that grief and move onto that new viewpoint in what seems (and feels) to be ridiculously quickly to me. Ego death is the term I connect with the most, but I'm not sure it's accurate.

There are two major examples.

1: I was fed a line as a teen that made me question everything; I went from being very religious to an atheist in about a month, which sparked other major mindset changes too.

2: After 11 years, I realized I was in an emotionally abusive relationship (which I had previously believed was healthy and loving and worth a life-long investment).

Once that realization hit my conscious mind, it was like a light switch; I immediately knew that I had to leave, even though I also knew the consequences would be extremely overwhelmingly difficult for me, and I had serious doubts about my ability to survive alone. It's like the choice was made before I even had the chance to think about it.

I left them in 2 months and never questioned it. This doesn't seem consistent with the experiences of most other abuse victims.

Those two months and the one month as a teenager felt like a hurricane of information and emotional processing that I wasn't really in control of. I just kinda had to ride it out.

I felt like I had to find out as much information as possible so that I felt prepared enough to reach my final perspective on the person or situation.

I also wonder if it's related to my ability to compartmentalize. That's the biggest reason I stayed with my ex in the first place. But now, I have basically decided not to think about them at all... and I actually don't, at least until I'm having an especially hard day or see something that reminds me of them.

Just thought of this, but I also seem to be able to quit a substance (well... nicotine) without THAT much difficulty considering how addictive it is. I just go cold turkey and have done so multiple times without relapsing... until my ex did. Don't get me wrong, it's hard... a part of me still wants to go buy a vape as I type this... but I just distract myself easily I guess lol.

Hopefully this makes sense.