I have become Numb

I think I have been depressed and anxious throughout my life, at age of 22 i sought treatment from psychiatrist, and instead of helping me ssri made it worse, made me hypomanic. Now I am 28, with chronic conditions like somatoform disorder where I get pain throughout my body and digestive issues like bloating and excessive farting, it's been 2 years since it has become worse. Because of this i have been socially isolated, my social and professional life has been f*c*ed, on top of that I have bipolar, so meds like SSRI, SNRI cannot be given for chronic pain.

Yesterday was my exam, I am an mbbs medical doctor, yesterday I had neet pg exam even though exam was ok, thing is I will not be happy even if I get 1 rank, that's how depressed I am. I have 1200 mg of pheno***one tablets and thinking of just ending it.