I miss my bestfreind so much.

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For context, I am 18 years old and have never really had a real friendship or relationship in the real world. I have been homeschooled my whole life and I am in a small town and have no means to really get out much. I play roblox a lot, and that's where I met Seamus. We got to talking a lot and he was the only person that I've ever met who really understands me. We went through the same shit, liked the same stuff, and we were always there for each other when the going got tough. After a while we started calling, we watched movies, stared at the ceiling and vented, or just hung out for hours. But over time I suppose we just drifted apart.. He stopped texting me everyday, and even when I texted him he would usually wait hours to respond claiming "he didn't see the message". I've went through this so many times before.. People just never texted back and then I found out the next day they just gave up (if yk what I mean by that). Honestly, I'm very strongly thinking of doing the same. I will never have real friends or a real relationship. The only thing I'll ever have is people on a damn screen that I can't even touch and will just ghost me eventually. I want to be held. I want someone to snuggle with me and just remind me that it will be ok. That I will get through this. But honestly, I'm not so sure of that anymore. I have my aunt and uncle, but it's just not the same as having a friend or a partner to talk to. And I know that sounds crazy, there's so many people out there who wish they had an aunt or uncle to talk to. And ik I'm stupid for thinking I'm all alone.. It just hurts. I know that I will never be able to get anyone. And I know venting to a bunch of random strangers on the internet probably won't do anything, I guess this is just my way of saying things I can't seem to get out on pen and paper..