I Feel like a Loser for Having Never Had Sex

I don't mean this in a "I'm entitled to other people's bodies because I'm insecure with myself" incel kind of way.

I'm a 25 year old Black transfemme and would describe my sexuality as sapphic. What I mean is that I'm really starting to resent having a libido or feeling sexual desire because while I've been on HRT for 2 years I still don't present femme at all, which is extremely frustrating and dysphoric. My libido has gone down by a lot compared to before i started going on E and I love that, but then when i do feel it, I feel very gross and try to suppress it.

Especially since i don't have a partner to actually like, share it with or something. i just feel like a loser for never having had sex and seeing people talk about how great sex is and how pitiful it is for women/femmes who have never had an orgasm and that just makes me feel worse like what am i supposed to do then? Where am I fucking up if I haven't experienced this?

I've tried putting myself out there with dating apps and meeting folks irl but apps are scams and my local queer scene is small and very white. I want to be in community with other Black queer folks and queer folks of color, but I can't seem to see that happening while I'm in fucking North Dakota.

I applied to jobs in the Twin Cities for 3 years and got nothing. I'll be moving to my own place in this next month but idk what else to do. How am I supposed to "put myself out there" in sapphic spaces I could encounter if I look the way I am? Like I always wear women's clothing and have my trans pride necklace showing and my pronouns pin when I know I'll be in a space with other queer folks to assure them that I am in fact not a man, but it doesn't feel enough. I'm terrified that I'll still be seen as a predator.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've tried ignoring my insecurity around this but it always pops up no matter what I do. I just wish I could be myself with another femme/woman of color and we could snuggle and watch tv together or just work on our stuff in silence. The things I see in queer media or read in fanfic. Idk what's wrong with me.