Anticipatory grief & sadness

My father will die any day now could be tomorrow could be next week and I am having trouble processing this I don’t know when to expect it or what to expect we were never close as family members raised me (I still live with family) but he tried and I didn’t and I feel such loss and grief and I’ve never felt like this before. I am having trouble functioning and he’s not gone yet. His esophagus is failing and he can barely talk and refuses hospice nurses I don’t know how to help or what to do.