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Dinner is leftover shrimp pad thai 

I'm caught up in a state of spiraling recently. Everyone around me has been telling me I should be so proud and happy because I just completed the house buying process with my partner but as the days go on and we keep fighting I'm struggling with the possibility that I just made the dumbest decision of my life in doing this.

We had been rocky a bit before even going into buying the house but had had a conversation where we were able to talk everything through that had been happening and they affirmed that they felt like we could move past everything and work through anything together. I believed them and had hope that we were making way for better communication between us. 

I think a combination of life stress on both our ends, plus I had foot surgery just before closing, and now everything with moving has been making both of us short with each other. And I know it doesn't help that ive been all over the place as I'm navigating a particularly bad symptomatic pmdd week. 

We both have been fighting back and forth most of the night yesterday and throughout the day today, and after going back and forth so much I had asked them if they still had any love for me and  mentioned the way they've been treating me makes me feel insecure about the state of our relationship. 

They told me they loved me and got upset when hearing that made me cry - they tried to back track and say that they are in a state where they are in love but falling out of love with me and don't have anything they can think of to make the situation between us better. Towards the end of the fight they told me they couldn't tell me they loved me if they didn't mean it in response to me mentioning that I had asked for my verbal affirmations to feel more secure in this relationship.

I feel so heartbroken, I can't help but think they're just genuinely not as in things anymore because they've been talking about having a lack of trust and a hard time communicating with me. Ive consistently asked them to share with me what I am doing or saying that has lead to the lack of trust and haven't been able to get a clear answer. 

I'm terrified they're sticking through things because now that we've started moving out of our apartment they have no place to go, and with me currently being the major breadwinner in our relationship they might have a harder time trying to find something for themself. 

I feel stupid for wanting to try to fix things and thinking that maybe we can get past this especially when they tell me that I'm asking for too much with asking for affirmations. 

I was so excited to buy a house with them, especially as someone who's grown up with a lot of housing insecurities and the feeling of stability that this felt like but now I feel overwhelmed at what it looks like for us if we do split up especially because we're not married and chose to do a 50/50 ownership even though I fronted the bulk of the costs of the house up to closing. 

I wanna hope and pray that maybe the spiraling doubt feelings I'm having are just more so from pmdd symptoms ongoing but at the same time I can't shake the feeling that maybe I fcked up in signing for this house. 

Bought a house with my so but our relationship is crumbling