TW! Need clarity - Outside Perspective

TW- Child loss
Mt husband and I are early 20's, we've been married for alittle over a year. I love my husband tremendously and he has tons of amazing qualities I hadn't experienced before him
Including. But not limited to
Never ever been closely unfaithful, not an overly lustful partner, very honest, amazing family , works hard , very disciplined, no drugs, alc, arrest , lacks judgement , very good listener, very clean, great sex life, consistent dates, similar life goals.. very simple man but list goes on. I know I have a much better man than a lot of others.. But there's downsides of course that aren't ideal for a husband.

Emotionally avoidant, won't go to therapy, doesn't line animals much and that's a big issue in our marriage.. I brought my dogs into a house we own 50/50 .. won't let them roam 80% of the house , won't allow in his vehicle (shared but his), isn't nice to them but not necessarily mean I guess , wouldn't help a stray I don't think
Never grew up with animals so he's cold hearted in mt eyes and I'm the complete opposite.

Very lacked support on me attending church, gym or continuing my education is my biggest issue with him
Stuck in his ways and says he will change but it will always be my compromise 90% and him 10%
Lacks spontaneous romance, thoughtfulness and I'm a very considerate, loving, person.
Never really goes above and beyond, pretty selfish at times. Hasn't changed much he has promised to change.

As bad as it all sounds, he's a great guy and afraid to lose the amazing qualities of him but is me considering divorce absurd? This has been a long on and off thought of mine
I'm afraid my internal depression + unrealistic expectations may be clouding my judgement

A HUGE portion to add/ my husband is extremely family oriented and was always wanting us to marry and have children
We tried for six months before having a miscarriage where I felt due to him being emotionally avoidant he shut down and I dealt with it alone, than a month later we got pregnant with our daughter.. he was SO excited and we loved her beyond words, no complaints there but at 20 weeks pregnant my water unexpectedly broke and lived at the hospital for a week .. he was there everyday but emotionally he wasn't .. not even assistance in the shower or make my bed for me, but would bring food, slept there even tho he didn't talk much
He was so quiet and I know he was hurting we knew our daughter wouldn't survive but couldn't think of me first in a time of struggle
Packed my bag badly ( like bringing thongs to go home in .. when postpartum. Ugh) didn't offer emotional support, didn't help much in hospital, just shut down..
after a week I gave birth and she passed away an hour later he was cold and quiet for days
Only cried and very Minimal words, didn't help me in the hospital much, planned her funeral alone while he grieved..and pushed all of us away while I needed him much .. never researched or helped me when going through postpartum depression.. I feel resentment for it
I know he loved her and me so much and I know he was hurting and that he doesn't know how to emotionally express himself but I'm mad that he couldn't try harder and show up better when I needed him more and now I'm afraid it's divorce worthy..
he writes off so much as he doesn't know better but I think my point is he doesn't go out of his way to figure it out and learn on his own to be better for me
as confusing as my paragraph may be
Things are amazing and so enjoyable a lot but also not amazing and hurtful and disappointing a lot of times too
Is this normal marriage? Am I right to consider divorce even though I know he's amazing in tons of ways?
What would you do? Is my internal unhappiness causing me to be unrealistic?