Currently under SH watch- makes me want to harm more and hide it

I just need someone to talk to about this because I truly truly hate it.

I relapsed back in late July and unbeknownst to me had a physical the next day. Long story short my doctor saw my fresh cuts, and as procedure had to tell my parents, who had to tell my therapist. They made me go back to therapy every week to talk about feelings and coping and anxiety and I hate it. It's like I have a craving for it. Obviously if I tell her that I'm labeled "high risk" and they put me in a mental hospital, I was told as such. So I'm just stringing along with her and it's exhausting. On top of that; I have to do a monthly "body check" where either my parents or my doctor has to check "affected areas" (my arms and upper thighs) for fresh cuts to ensure I haven't done anything since the last time. thinking about it makes me want to vomit and cut more. I feel trapped. I'm seriously considering cutting on my stomach instead, but I'm trying to hold myself back. Idk if anyone relates to this but words of support would be greatly appreciated.