I [33F] feel so alone with my partner [37M]

I [33F] feel so alone with my partner [37M]

Does any one else just feel like they're completely alone in their relationship. We've been together for almost 4 years and I think more of those years have been bad than good. It feels more like we're roommates that argue all the time. I'm upset while writing this so things might not make sense.

I don't even know where to start with the problems, theres so many. Every argument always snowballs into something larger and it's because it always stems from a bigger issue. One of the issues is I dont trust my partner to do anything correctly. If I ask him to do something is almost always done wrong. I can't trust him not to shrink my clothes in the dryer, he's done it 3 or 4 times. He cant write a grocery list properly and always misses items, he wont actually look to see what we need. He wont remember the things I like eating, if I dont tell him, I wont get things i need. It seems like he just doesn't care about the things I want and need, like he doesn't consider me at all. He forgets everything that doesn't involve him. He will do things like order face creams or vitamins but then lie about doing research on them.

Prime example is he bought some Zinc in 50mg and said he researched it and it was fine to take every night. Well news flash it was not and we ended up getting Zinc toxicity. The next example is, he bought a whole bunch of face creams, told me he did research on them and surprise surprise he infact did not do research on any one them and now my face is a mess. These are just the ones that come to mind first but theres so many more examples. I shouldn't have to double and triple check that he actually did what he said he did. I shouldn't have to then do a bunch of research on things myself because I dont trust what he says. Am I crazy or should I be able to trust him to do things. I feel like I'm his mother, constantly making sure everything is done properly.

As soon as I complain about it he always spins it into being my fault. Its like he doesn't actually listen to what I'm saying. Like I should've done my own research on the Zinc, and I should've looked up all of the face products he said he researched. Am I in the wrong here or should I be able to trust that my partner can do something correctly without me double checking his work like a mother or teacher?

I feel completely alone all the time. Like I'm the only one in this relationship trying to do things. He cant be bothered to plans things, do things, research things, or just at the bare minimum consider me. What do I do at this point. I feel like I'm talking to a wall sometimes and all he hears is an attack but doesn't try to solve the actual problems.