how to tell my best friend she constantly makes me upset?

TLDR at the end

i (F17) and my best friend B (F18) have been close for about two years. i love her so much and i know she loves me; probably more than i love her. she’s my only close friend and im hers

however, every time i hang out with her i find myself getting upset. she’s always telling me to do things for her. if i don’t say yes, she’ll try to guilt me into it. it’s little things like “go downstairs and grab my charger” or “bring my plate to the kitchen”. i very rarely flat out say no, but i always show a little annoyance and do it anyway (i know i know, it’s partially my fault)

i have an older house whereas hers is much newer. because of this i don’t usually know how to use things in her house. for example i didn’t know how to close her window, turn off her light, or turn on her ac because they were things i’ve never seen before. she’ll ask me to do these things for her, i gladly get up to do it, tell her that i don’t know how to do it, and then she calls me stupid and tells me that i don’t know how to do anything. she’ll say things like “im scared for the day you move out and have to be independent…” it got so bad one day her parents had to keep standing up for me ❤️‍🩹

however, the biggest one, is she constantly makes homophobic comments. i am queer. i never out right came out to her, but i reposted a tiktok video about it. she got drunk during her graduation party and started telling all of her family about how im gay. and she often makes comments like, “ew im not listening to your gay music”, “i don’t wanna watch your gay movies”, even if they have nothing to actually do with being queer.

the worst comment was yesterday. she was talking to her cousin about a tv show they like. B flat out said, “yeah i had to stop watching that cause one of the actors is trans or gay or something”… i was curious so i asked her who it was and i searched him up. i saw that he makes music so i said, “yo B he makes music” and i started playing it. before it even started she genuinely said “ew listen to that on your own time. i don’t wanna hear this gay music” ?!?!?!?!?!
and.. later in the night her mom invited her to a family party next week. she said, “B wanna come to this party?” B said yes. her mom then replied “wait never mind, there’ll be gay people there” and i’m so dead ass B said “oh no thanks. i’ll stay home”

me and her are very very close. we always cuddle, sleep in the same bed, she sits on my lap. wtv. but that’s only if she initiates it. if i ever try to even lean my head on her shoulder she’ll say “woah back up.. looks like you’re about to kiss me” IM SORRY?!

ugh idk wtf to do cause i love her so much but ive been crying all day because of this. i dont want to lose her as a friend but im not sure i can change any of this about her either. plus, i want her to feel safe and comfortable around me. i’m scared if i ask her to change anything she’ll value our friendship a little less

okay im sorry that was so long

TLDR:
my best friend constantly calls me dumb and tells me i dont know how to do anything bc idk how to do/use certain things in her house. it got so bad last night that her parents had to keep stepping in and standing up for me. she also knows im queer but continues to make homophobic comments (won’t go to a party because there’s gay people, won’t watch a show because an actor is gay, won’t listen to my music or watch my movies because they’re “gay”) i don’t want to lose her or make her feel like she can’t be herself around me, but i also can’t stop crying because of the things she says to me