Any ex-religious folk turned ENM?

My partner grew up in a Christian household and i only recently realized that it was more extreme than i had originally thought. His upbringing was abusive and religion was frequently used to power trip. As a teen he used to try to convert people, was abstinent and his family was rampant with homophobia. As an adult he understandably hates all organized religion as a result. He also recently came out as trans and has started to explore alternative lifestyles.

After we got married we started talking about ENM on and off but it doesn’t usually go well and he shuts down/gets very upset. Ive tried to ask why and his reasoning is quite sexist and based in religious beliefs. I didn’t point that out but he is currently starting individual therapy to sort out some of the religious trauma.

I don’t want to pressure him into ENM if he’s not comfortable but we have a significant gap in terms of sexual compatibility and im trying to bridge it as he does not want a divorce. We are doing couples intimacy coaching (ENM friendly) which is going well but obviously cannot fix everything.

Im wondering if there is anyone else who comes from a similar religious background and how you’ve dealt harmful beliefs/programming.