Back to Square One, how to deal with depressed BP

TL:DR - advice on how to deal with BP who is depressed and with young kids

I’d muted this sub for awhile as my wife (BP) and I had gone through couples therapy and got to the point where we were in a great spot and the therapist even said “you don’t need me anymore.”

A week later we were at a bar with friends, we’d had dinner just the two of us prior and a few drinks and at around 10 I realized it was time for me to go home and asked her to come too. She said she wanted to stay out with our friends. After I left, apparently she immediately left our friends and later they saw her making out with two guys at the bar. She didn’t remember, and we had a great day the next day until a friend texted her and told her what happened and she immediately told me.

Both instances were not an “affair” - first time was full on sex while at a work event where she was very drunk, and the bar make out was also very drunk. She has promised sobriety and followed through thus far starting immediately after finding out about the bar makeout. I’m proud of her for that, but am struggling with “at what point do I not deserve this?” We have two young kids and I’m trying to keep it together, and I do love her and believe she loves me and that her depression has brought her to a super low point. At the same time, she definitely pointed blame at me after the first offense of “you weren’t supportive enough during my post Partum depression”, which I’ve owned since idk how to deal with it, and this second time she’s had full accountability until we talked last night where she said “I wish my husband would push the issue and make me leave the bar” which I’m like woah, that’s bullshit:

I guess what I’m asking is; has anyone dealt with a BP who was depressed with young kids? Does it get better or am I chasing a fantasy? We have the “perfect life” obviously minus this BS