AIO for inviting her ex to our date without telling me, so I Left.

I’ve been speaking to this woman for probably a month now and have been on three dates. Everything was going great and we speak pretty much every day and she’s affectionate with me and was already talking about where this could go. Last Saturday she suggested we tried a new Italian that she had heard good things about and I made the reservation for 7:30 on Friday and we confirmed we’d meet there.

I get there a little early and snagged a table. About 10 minutes later she walks in… only not alone. She has a dude walking alongside her.

She smiles and says, “Hey!

I hope you don’t mind.

This is Daniel.”

I stand up and shake his hand and just assume he must be like a co-worker or just a friend. Then without skipping a beat she says, “He’s actually my ex, we’ve remained friends post break-up and he was in the area so I thought I would invite him.”

I was just a total loss for words and managed to sputter out, “You invited your ex to our date?”

She looks confused, “It’s not like that, we’re just friends.” I try to explain that I wasn’t calling her out for cheating, or that anything else was going on, the issue for me was that two people made plans and she invited a third, that just happens to be her ex, without even mentioning it. She accuses me of making it ‘way more of a big deal than it has to be’.

Daniel actually chimed in, looking uncomfortable, “I can leave if you guys want.” She just waves it off and tells him, “No worries. We can just all have dinner together.”

At this point I tell her, “I don’t think I’m going to be comfortable with this. If you want to have dinner with your ex that’s your business, but I don’t want to be part of a date where I only find out about that once I’ve already showed up.” She rolled her eyes and called me insecure.

I told her I wouldn’t argue and said “Maybe we’re just looking for different things.”

I apologized to Daniel for putting him in that position and told them to have a good night and left.

She hasn’t been in touch since then. Some friends think I overreacted and should have stayed to have dinner as clearly there was nothing going on between her and her ex because she said so. I don’t see it that way; for me this was less about who was or wasn’t having feelings and more about the fact she altered plans in that way without informing me and then labelled me as unreasonable for not wanting to participate.

AIO for leaving the date in this situation?