I wish It was the end.

The only self worth it feels like I have, is being willing to show/share my body for praise....

Ive answered dm after dm of horny 30-40yr old men who just want to beat their meat to a talking flesh light....

Its become easy to follow the same scripts, same interactions between chats.

"Are you touching yourself/how wet are you?"

Meanwhile I'm sitting on my couch watching TV eating spaghetti.

"Soooo wet daddy 😩🫠🤤"

I'm desperate for human connection and when again after again these short fuses die off once they've had their fun... I'm left alone...

Ashamed in myself, sad, and alone.

I thought if I felt better about this stupid tomb of a body, maybe the thoughts of cutting myself would become less.

It hasn't...

But I don't have the balls to fully end my life so I'm stuck in this Groundhog Day, never ending loop of loneliness....

I wish I knew how to just disappear from everything, everyone I know, and just die off in some woods in the middle of Tim-Buck-Two.