Hair feels really rough, almost waxy, when wet but is SUPER soft when dry with no product?

I have coily 3c/4a hair, high density but very fine and fragile strands. I’ve been struggling to figure out how to make my hair look soft and healthy with defined curls, and I’m wondering if this may be a clue as to what’s going on with my hair since it’s seems to be a weird phenomenon lol

I’ve seen some people say it could be due to very low porosity hair, and that would somewhat make sense with my experience (hair seems to never get fully saturated with just water and if I put it in braids while it’s wet it will stay wet for 12+ hours). But my hair is dyed so I’m wondering if it’s even possible to still have low porosity.

I’ve tried products with and without protein, steaming while conditioning, etc. and nothing seems to make much of a difference. Not sure what else to try at this point.