A Slave's Journal — I begged for bondage. Master had planned for much more. [MF] [BDSM] [Bondage] [Humiliation] [Degradation] [Objectification] [Sex] [Immersive POV] [M/s] [Non-fiction]

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Finally back home.

After a fantastically chaotic month –the brochure to a fantastically chaotic school year–, the three days of vacation had been a soothing balm. A comfortable hotel room, quality time with family, gifts and souvenirs, delicious food (so much food)... All of it under a comfortable blanket of clouds that offered a much welcome relief from the scorching summer sun. The only downside, however, had been the heat - and not the weather one.

And now, as I unpacked my clothes and found homes for the new jewelry and the trinkets, that heat could no longer be ignored. Returning to the familiar space of my home and my room, to my ropes and toys, made my neediness much more difficult to ignore. And sexual hunger was not the only urge: now that the tension from end of school, thesis defense, and job hunting was gone, a deeper, much more primal need had been clawing its way to the surface. The month had been fantastic, yes, but I still wanted to escape the intensity of all the recent big life steps. And the days of vacation had been a great break from routine, but I needed something much different. My neck missed the stiffness of my play collar, my hands instinctively played with the phantom sensation of my wrist cuffs, my ankles regretted the freedom of movement. Every part of my body begged for the cathartic release of bondage - every part of me supplicated for release through submission.

I had been doubting whether to wait until Sir reached home after work, or to ask for at least some bondage right away. He knew I had been burning lately, and it was likely he would take care of that if I asked for it when he came back home. But at the same time, I needed the bondage so badly... And finding myself idle after putting the last few things away made that need terribly more intense. Plus Sir always listened when I was that needy, and a few minutes of bondage wouldn't take away from any later scenes... I made up my mind and grabbed the phone:

“Sir, since I finished putting everything away, could I please have some bound time?” I paused for a second. “It doesn't have to be anything big, it's just that I've been really craving the restriction”.

As soon as the message was sent, every passing second seemed to stretch exponentially. I took the bondage bag out and knelt by the bed, ready to start tying as soon as I got the instructions for it. I waited for a minute. Then another minute...

_Sir is typing..._

“No.”

My brain malfunctioned. Absolutely shock. Such a blunt answer. I could barely believe it. No 'Not yet, kitten'; no teasing; no playfulness; no explanation. A blunt, aseptic and unbendable decision. Simply "No".

For a moment, I wanted to insist. I had been so sure I'd be given permission that the small bratty part of me got personally offended by the denial and urged me to start pestering my way into bondage. But I knew better. Sir would not budge to bratting, and annoying him would only result in actual denial. And he knew I had been hot. He knew life had gotten big lately. He most likely knew how much I needed the release... His words resonated in my memory: “... and I always take care of my kitten”. That's right. He always did; he had never left me uncared for, even less so when he knew I actually needed to let go. So if he denied me so firmly now, it was probably because he would take better care of me later, right...? I just needed to trust... Just to submit and trust.

“Yes, Sir”.

The conversation resumed as if nothing had happened.

___________________________________________

"Welcome back, Sir", I lovingly greeted him when he finally reached home. After the denial, I eventually managed to regain my emotional composure, and the rest of the evening had been as perfectly normal and calm as usual. As usual, I had already finished my dinner by the time Sir came back, and had been half-watching a movie while waiting for him. And as usual, we engaged in some small talk while he made himself comfortable and started his dinner.

"Go get yourself in a hogtie. Lush in, 40 minutes".

"Yessir!", I squeaked as I leapt off the sofa. Deep inside, I had been expectantly waiting to see if my previous guess had been right, and now I beamed from ear to ear as I got the restraints ready for the tie. Padlocked cuffs on wrists and ankles, ratchet in the right direction, timer lock double (triple) checked, Lush connected... Once everything was ready, I let Sir know. He checks the connection to the toy, and then, just a message: "Lock up". No call.

My heart sank a little, but I was still hopeful - and happy to get in bondage anyways. I laid down on the carpet, enjoying the light scraping against my skin, and after linking the wrist cuffs to the timer lock, I ratcheted myself into position and clicked a button. Five gentle beeps, and then a mechanical noise. The time had started.

I rested my head and closed my eyes for a moment. Finally bound. I savored the tightness of the cuffs and pulled the ropes a little to fully sink into the helplessness of my situation before taking a deep breath. It was so nice. However, my attention soon shifted towards the toy between my legs - there had been no activity. I waited for a minute or two, hoping to feel a first buzz any moment now. But nothing. Nothing for so long that I began to get uneasy. Had something happened? Had the toy disconnected? Had I accidentally turned it off when locking up? Still nothing. I checked the clock on the table. Two minutes. Two minutes and a half. Three minutes. Three minutes and twenty seconds. Three minutes and forty. Three minutes and fifty five...

_Brr_. A huge wave of relief washed over me as the toy vibrator came to life with a short, gentle buzz. It was followed by another short buzz, slightly more intense, then a few consecutive, soft pulses, a slightly longer moment of tremor - and the toy went still again. I stirred in my bindings a little, relishing the predicament, when the vibrator suddenly jolted back to life. The initial intensity startled me, but it only lasted a moment. The rumbles went down a bit. I rubbed lazily against the carpet, the slight coarseness adding to the sensations and making me moan as i savor the pleasure. But once again, it's short lived. The toy goes still again, and this time I can feel the increased wetness between my legs. I am getting needier, too. I begin to suspect how this will turn out.

The stillness doesn't last long, though. With slow, increasing pulses, the toy begins to tease me, slow and steady - making me needier, more sensitive with each rumble. It goes down for a few moments, only for a minute or two before the sweet torment resumes. Once and again, each time making me squirm a little more, each time making me moan a little louder, until my pussy is so sensitive that I can almost feel a couple of warm fingers slowly pumping in and out, pressing against my G spot with each thrust... But it's never strong enough. Never enough to reach edge. Never enough to be granted any relief. Any perception of time fades between gentle rumbles, moans and bound struggles, making me beg and sink deeper and deeper in my predicament - each time needier and wetter, but at no point any closer to relief.

The lock's mechanical chirp signaled the end of my predicament. I freed my wrists and reached out for the phone to let Sir know I was unlocked before continuing to undo the tie. The phone rang just as I finished undoing the rest of the restraints.

–Hi there, kitten -Sir's cheerful voice greeted me.- How was it?

–Oh, Sir...- I sighed as I began to answer. I quickly recounted the scene to Sir, emphasizing my surprise at figuring out it was going to be a teasing scene - and just how much hotter I was now as a result.

–Ow, kitten...- the fake pity in Sir's voice made something stir deep inside me. –Did you think you were going to be all over that quickly?

I dared not speak, and Sir's presence towered menacingly over me.

–Did you forget -his voice darkened as he spoke until it became a growl- that your purpose here is to be a toy for my entertainment?

–No, Sir... -I answered in a choked whisper. There was no acknowledgement to my reply.

–Chastity belt on; keep the Lush in. I said before that we should watch a movie, didn't I?

I replied with a meek "Yes sir" before scrambling away. At first, the cold steel of the belt felt wonderful against my burning skin, but as soon as it got fastened in place, the pressure of the shield against my aching pussy began to add up to my predicament. As I moved back to the chair in front of the computer, my hands wandered between my legs, desperately trying to pry into the belt - but the device was relentless, and the attempt only added to my desperation. A shockingly strong rumble of the toy brought my attention back to Sir.

–What movie is it? -I asked as the images began to roll in my screen.

–Oh, it doesn't matter -Sir replied dismissively-. You are not going to remember any of it anyways. You're just here for my enjoyment.

The words were underlined by a quick buzz that made me squirm in my chair. It was true - I would not be remembering much of the movie as I was, unable to focus on anything that weren't Sir's words or my own desperation. The realization sank in - I was Sir's toy, there for him to enjoy my torment. There was no negotiation possible, there was no offer I could made. I was exactly where Sir wanted me. Belted as I was, with the vibrator teasing me once and again at Sir's whim, my only purpose was to suffer for his amusement. And this realization only got me deeper in my devotion - only made me burn hotter for him.

An eternity went by. An eternity of burning, of trying to stay still and sitting properly -just as Sir had trained me- only to eventually fail when the toy's rumbles forced me to squirm and moan and beg for Sir's mercy. But there was none of that, and each fail of composure was followed by an enraged command and a yank of the chain to get me back into position. Sir was watching a movie, I was not to interrupt him with my moans - my only place was the one he commanded, and if he wanted to have me suffer without interrupting his movie, he was going to get exactly that - one way or another. Each reminder would freeze me in place again, momentarily allowing to regain control over my agitated breathing and movements... Only to make me crumble again after a while, when the toy's incessant teasing drew me dangerously close to the edge of orgasm.

Until Sir grew tired of my interruptions.

–Didn't I tell you I didn't want to hear you while I'm watching the movie, slut? -My eyes widened as I tried to mumble an apology. But Sir didn't care-. To the floor, on your knees, now! I've clearly been too lenient if my property has forgotten its proper place.

I hurriedly knelt by the chair, carefully readjusting my position until I stood the way Sir wanted me: with my legs closed and my ass resting on my feet, and with my back straight and slightly arched to highlight its curvature and push my chest out; my shoulders and arms relaxed, with my hands resting gently on my thighs, and my head either held high or bowing gracefully for a brief moment. A properly displayed property, demonstrating its owner's dedicated training. There I stood for another timeless eternity, lost in the shadows at the feet of the desk, the movie reduced to just a distant murmur - all of it pulling me deeper into submission. I remained still and silent despite the increasing tiredness of my muscles and the burning desire that kept me dripping - until the pain in my knees began to make me squirm.

Sir noticed the stir. It took me a moment to regain my voice.

–Sir, my knees are starting to resent the position. May I be allowed a break?

–Belt off and get your dildo.

The command was unexpected, but I fought the haze that drowned my mind and obeyed as swiftly as I could.

–Place it on the chair and bury it in that fucking wet cunt.

With my thighs coated in the slick juice from my pussy, desperately dying for any kind of merciful pleasure, I did as I was told. The pressure of the toy deep against my womb made me gasp audibly and shift my weight on the chair, only to have the toy tortuously pressing against my G spot. "Please, Sir", I begged as I got to the verge of tears, "please, let me service you better, I can-" "Shut the fuck up, if I wanted to fuck you, I would. You are there to keep that cock warm, and you better keep that pussy tight".

I did not dare speak again. I just kept on burning, my mind completely lost in subspace, with no sense of time to guide my perception or awareness about the movie that kept on playing in the background. I could only focus on following Sir's command, on being a properly pleasing toy… On the pleasure that started to build up inside of me. "Aw, kitten!" The fake pity got me even closer to edge. "Are you really that desperate a whore that you're about to edge just from cock warming?" I could not hold back a moan, and nodded as I began to mumble a sigh-interrupted plea. "Such a dirty fuck toy..." I was getting closer and closer. "And yet you need my permission, right? That body knows who owns it, it won't allow any pleasure until I allow it". "Please Sir...". A sob cut my voice short, as I desperately clung to the edge, my pussy tightening and dripping around the cock. And after a never-ending instant - "Cum".

The wave of pleasure made me double over, each ripple hitting like a tsunami that wiped every thought off my mind - so intense that pain and pleasure were one and the same. And even before it began to subside, the fucking started - powerful thrusts that hit against every sensitive spot inside me, building up another orgasm even before the first one had ended, pushing me closer and closer and closer... Until there was another command, and I lost myself entirely to a pleasure that shook every part of my being.

___________________________________________

I curled up in the chair, bundled in the kimono that substituted Sir's jacket during the summer months. I didn't know how much time it had been, how long I had taken to come back, but that didn't matter at all. I was now starting to land, my mind back on earth after an eternity at Sir's service. I was safe with him, feeling so happy and loved, and that was all that mattered. I focused for a moment on the movie that I had totally ignored until now and that was now coming to an end - and I could barely believe my eyes:

"Why are there three English guys in underwear fighting _robot aliens that bleed blue_?"

Ah, what a way to start August.