I blame myself for ruining things with “emotionally abusive” ex

So I dated my ex for 2 years and we lived together for a few months. After being in therapy my therapist described her as emotionally abusive and it was an unhealthy relationship.

A quick summary of the problems in the relationship was that I often felt like everything had to be her way. She could also be really moody, critical, cold, and dismissive, which made me feel like I was constantly walking on eggshells. There was very little affection, intimacy, quality time, or compromise, and I often had to ask repeatedly for basic emotional support, communication, and affection. Despite all the bad there was a lot of good too though

I broke up and got back together with her more than once in the span of 4 months. After we got back together the last time I did notice she was making some efforts with things like we had sex once and ever attempted to make out (for context she only had sex like 6 times and we never made out before) I ever noticed she was finally trying to spend more time with me as well. But I also noticed old patterns starting to slip back in as well and I even called her out on it and she got offended. In my mind it seemed like she was finally trying to change though but I finally got pushed to my breaking point once and for all after a few things she did like saying she was too tired to lay in bed with me after I was quarantined for a week with Covid and didn’t see her yet she had the energy to go snowmobiling for hours, also when I threw out my back she left me on the floor instead of trying to help me and then when I made it to my bed and wanted her to lay with me it was like pulling teeth.

I eventually left for good and the day I left for good she said I didn’t give her enough time and I’m wondering if that’s true because I did notice some efforts on here part and our roommate also told me she was finally looking into therapy but I don’t know if I even believe that because why didn’t she tell me herself and why did the roommate tell me that once I was about to leave her also I bugged her to go to therapy for months and even join me in my sessions but she never wanted to before.

I’m just so confused and blame myself a lot because I really loved her and I feel like I failed and ruined everything. After the final breakup I even wrote her a letter in the mail taking responsibility for things on my part and wondering if we could have a heart to heart conversation so there’s no bad blood and she burned my letter and posted a video of her burning it on social media and she said I should have done better and her life is better without me.

6 months after our final breakup she’s in a new relationship and she seems really happy she only got into this relationship because she kept posting videos on TikTok saying how she wants a masc and someone reached out to her and now they are dating. They’ve been together for a month and already calling eachother “my love” on a social media post. It just stings really badly everything I wasn’t perfect but I was a great partner for her and treated her great and I just keep wondering if I fucked up and wondering if she’s actually in therapy and helping herself now and will be great for the new person.